“The strength of a woman is not measured by the impact that all her hardships in life have had on her; but the strength of a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes." C. Joybell C.

Ever since I was 14, I've had a chronic illness called Endometriosis. It causes unbearable and debilitating pain. We don't know how you get it and there's no cure. Pretty positive and uplifting, isn't it? 👎🏻 I've had 2 unsuccessful surgeries, 25+ different hormone therapies, medically induced menopause twice, hormone injections for 6 years, pain medication, I've tried it all. The last 12 years, I have chosen to take a very strong medication to manage the pain. I've seen about 50 doctors over the years and I tend to always know more than they do! 

Last Thursday, I went and saw a surgeon that is 1 of 8 total surgeons in the country that can successfully remove all of the disease from inside me. I had been working on getting this appointment since last August, so I was very excited to finally get to see her and get some answers. She spent an hour with me running tests and talking through all my questions. She concluded that I have three things going on, including my first diagnoses of endometriosis. I also have Adenomyosis and Uterine Fibroids. It really sucks, but it's also encouraging to know that I'm not crazy and that my intuition was right! When we were done, she told me to go home and think about my surgical options she proposed to make the best decision for me. There were two different options, a more conservative route and a more aggressive route. Both options are tough and not what I was hoping for. If I chose the conservative option, I'll have to have another surgery again in the future and she can't guarantee it will fix it. The more aggressive option holds a much higher percentage of getting me pain free, it just means permanently ending any fertility I may have. Ever since I was 15, I knew I wasn't even going to think about children until I was married, and we know how well that's going: which is, it's not! 😂 

So, after a lot of thinking, some sound advice and some research, I've decided the best choice is to have a hysterectomy to remove my uterus, excise the endometriosis and remove the large fibroid that is affecting my bladder. My uterus is trying to kill me, so it's time for it to be evicted! It's scary and heartbreaking because so much of what she'll be removing is what makes me a woman, but to be able to live a life pain free is something I can't wait to have! So many of my days are spent in bed, canceling plans at the last minute, taking horrible medication and puking from being in excruciating pain. If this is truly the fix that it should be, I'll be a brand new woman, able to take on anything I want!

This isn't the most comfortable thing to talk about, especially with the men in our family, but I wanted you to be with me during this experience! I should have the date of my surgery by Wednesday and I'll let you know as soon as I have it.

I love you guys and I'm so thankful to have such a kick-ass family! 😀 This road is going to get a lot harder before it gets better, but if everything goes according to plan, it'll be worth it!